I read this article/post today and it touched a nerve.
Now, so many of the points made in this post made sense to me —
- Women waiting to have kids until they are more established
- Women waiting because they don’t know if their spouse is ready and/or they don’t want to be a single parent
- Women waiting because maternity leave in the U.S. sucks (it does – I can vouch for that)
- And because daycare is expensive (dude, what did we do with our money before we had kids?)
And I applauded her for saying these things. I think are valid reasons to wait, if indeed you WANT to have kids. I also agree that having kids changed my life and for the better — but that’s where my applaud and praise ends.
What I DON’T get about the article is how she becomes a baby pusher. Women my age don’t NEED to have babies. They need to think for themselves, feel secure about who they are, live a healthy lifestyle, and do what makes them happy. Having a kid isn’t a milestone. It’s not something to check off because “you should.”
Guess what guys — NOT EVERYONE NEEDS TO HAVE KIDS.
I don’t get the pressure.
I have several married friends who have no intention of EVER having children – and it bothers me to no end when people start to question them about it. As if it’s a disease. As if there is something wrong with them. Last time I checked, it wasn’t a requirement to living a full, happy, healthy, and successful life.
Ultimate life happiness to does not start and end with my children.
And it’s not that my friends sans kids don’t love kids and babies. They are all wonderful with my kids – in fact, a few were the first to visit after their arrival and they have been just as present in my life since then. They are understanding, patient, and offer to babysit. They also give me a chance to get out of “Mommyville.” I have to admit, I enjoy a night out when I’m NOT talking about them constantly or questioning my parenting choices because I’m far from being the perfect parent.
I’m directing this at anyone in particular (except the author of the post, I guess) but please think it through the next time you have the desire say, “You really should have babies/kids/a family.” There could be a multitude of reasons why they don’t have children and it’s really none of your (or my) business. Leave them be!!!