I honestly have no idea what I worried about before I had kids. I mean there’s the typical stuff – finances, relationships, parents, siblings, etc. I think my biggest decisions involved paint color and what to wear to work. I’m not saying you don’t worry when you don’t have kids — but once B was born the floodgates of worry opened – and they haven’t stopped. And I’m pretty sure I’ve aged 10 years.
When you’re a new mom you are frantic and anxious – pretty much 24/7. You can sense when something is wrong. You also have no idea what you doing. You wish you could push the baby back into your womb because dude – they were SO MUCH SAFER in there.
How is it possible that they were so little and I was so scary looking?
As the years tick by, and you possibly have more kids, the worry is still there, but it’s it’s telling you, “Relax, have a margarita!” A lot of the worry centers around kids injuring themselves (it’s a valid concern – they have no idea what they are doing with their bodies), worrying that they don’t know their ABCs, and potty training. And trying to avoid judgement from other moms.
But lately I’ve been realizing that my kids are going to GROW UP. In 4 months B will be done with Kindergarten. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? That means college is right around the corner, right? RIGHT?
I really feel like I’ve found myself worrying about things I didn’t imagine happening for YEARS, but realistically the years fly by and there’s no stopping them. I have a full list – but in general…I worry about bullying, and about my kids being good people. I worry about values and manners. Hopefully they will have some. I recently came across blogs by teenagers who are seeking out thinspiration. Good God that is frightening. How do I avoid that?
Ultimately, I worry that my kids will think they need to be perfect, that everyone in life is equal and that life is fair, and that all good things in life will come TO THEM. That seems to be the approach to things these days.
And here’s where I am throwing down the mom gauntlet. Or something (apparently throwing down the gauntlet means shiny silver gloves? Where do I buy these to throw down?).
My kids are not perfect and I love them for it.
I want them to be kids for as long as possible. I want them to experience failure – even if it kills me to watch. I want them to make ridiculous choices. I want to take hilarious home videos and photos that will embarrass the HELL out of them. I don’t want them to be anyone but themselves. I want them to be team players and good sports. I want them to know how to spell using REAL WORDS and use proper grammar. I want them to realize that you have to work hard, play smart, and be passionate. I want them to value the opinions of others, and know they aren’t always right. I want them to love and support each other. I want them to pay for me when I’m living in a retirement home (kidding) (kinda).
As much as I want to protect my kids forever, I want my kids to succeed and I always want them to realize that when there’s an up, there’s also a down. I want them to understand that life is unpredictable and may not always be in their favor – but it’s worth fighting for – but THEY are the ones who have to put up the fight.
If anyone has any ideas on how to make this happen – I’m sure I would sleep better at night. Until them, you know where to find me. At this point I’m thinking it involves crossing my fingers, wishing on a star, taking deep breaths and letting them know that I love them – every step of the way. <–my solution to perfect parenting
Anyone have anything they want to confess?