The news is really pissing me off lately. It makes me constantly question what year we are living in. It’s still 2012, right? Because these three things make me feel like time is going backwards.
1. Women in the workplace.
I could really do an entire post of this, but I try to restrain myself. There have been various articles lately about women working. How we “can’t have it all ”, how proud we are SO proud that pregnant woman was named CEO of a major company (but she’s not going to take maternity leave), and how there’s still a gap in pay between men and women.
As a working mom here my take:
- You CAN have it all – but you need to define all. I don’t want to be the CEO of a company. I don’t want to lead our country. I want to have a family, live a healthy and happy life, take vacations, enjoy the little things, and be proud of my accomplishments. Let’s not focus on what women AREN’T doing. Let’s focus on what they ARE doing. Let’s refedine what “having it all” really means.
- Dear Marissa Mayer – TAKE A MATERNITY LEAVE. I think it’s awesome that you are only a few years older than me and have accomplished so much — but I’m sorry, but using maternity leave as a bartering tool is just not helping ANY woman (or man, truthfully) in any way. I didn’t have a maternity leave. I had Short-Term Disability for 6 weeks (woo-hoo /sarcasm) and any vacation time I had saved up. Do you know how HARD it is to go back to work when your baby is 8 weeks old (which is what I did, even though it meant less pay and not having vacation hours)? I love my job and I love being a working mom, but it’s EFFING hard. By not taking a leave, I think she’s not only doing herself and her family a disservice, but also making the statement that it’s OK that the US does not provide any kind of maternity leave for women. Do you know how many countries provide paid leave?? MORE THAN 120. (and apparently, I not alone in my sentiments)
- On another note why – why are we applauding Yahoo! for hiring her in the first place? How is this news? I am very supportive of working moms (obviously), but this isn’t the first CEO to have a baby.
- And finally – the pay gap thing. BLERG. I feel like when people talk and write about this topic they blame WOMEN for having lower pay than men. Yes, it sometimes takes negotiation and balls of steel to ask for what you think you deserve, but I think the issue goes further than that. First off, women majority jobs tend to pay less. HELLO teachers and nurses! If people are so concerned about the pay gap then maybe these job salaries just need to be more competitive (I strongly believe that could also help our educational system – but that’s another topic for another day). Secondly, most women I know DO put family first and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this. So please stop the blame game. Women can only do so much to close the gap — let’s stop saying “Come on ladies, step up your game” and start asking “What can actually DO to ensure workplace equality.”
2. Marriage Equality and Fast Food
Dear Chik-fil-a President, STFU! I don’t care about your opinion on who should be able to get married. Hearing your ridiculous statement about “family values” makes the majority of Americans want to punch you in the face and boycott you. You are the ONLY fast food that I eat (not including Chipotle) and now I’m struggling to support you. YOU MAKE FOOD – how does gay marriage or any kind of marriage impact you??? I don’t CARE what your views are. Please stop talking about it. If not, your loss. Haven’t you learned that mixing religion with corporate America is not such a hot idea?
I try to be open-minded with this kind of stuff. Sure, there are plenty of people (possibly even those reading this) that don’t agree with my stance on marriage that I would still gladly sit down and eat a meal with (I am not in the business of changing opinions, as long as you can accept I also have my own) — but I have a hard time accepting that making this kind of PUBLIC statement, when it has NOTHING to do with the business you are in, is necessary.
UPDATE: I’m editing this post almost 2 weeks later to say what REALLY pisses me off about CFA. I am not going to argue about freedom of speech. I agree that the President of the company can say whatever the heck he wants to about whoever the heck he wants to. What I’ve realized I can’t tolerate though is the discrimination. Sure, they might not discriminate against gay people in the workplace. Pay them well. Give them benefits. But bottom line: The company is STILL donating money to anti-gay/discriminatory organizations. Not just a little cash either - MILLIONS and MILLIONS of dollars. This money I would rather see go elsewhere. There are starving kids and homeless families all over this country, and they choose to donate their money to this kind of cause? To organizations that aim to “reform” gay people — as if being gay is a CHOICE? To organizations that have been labeled by the SPLC as “hate groups”? Just because 2 people want to live their lives together, to commit to each other, to possibly raise a family in NO WAY impede on YOUR freedom or come between YOUR marriage. Utterly ridiculous. I am not telling anyone they need to do what I say, but think about it. This is the real reason I will not longer be spending my money there. It pains me to do this – and I will continue to do this with any other organization who takes this kind of financial stance (*ahem* Target – you are tetering on a fine line) .
/Soapbox
3. Organic Food.
I’ve posted this NYT article about the Organic Food Industry on my personal Facebook page (and I’ve kind of touched on this before) – but this article is both enlightening and pisses me off. This in particular is concerning:
As corporate membership on the board has increased, so, too, has the number of nonorganic materials approved for organic foods on what is called the National List. At first, the list was largely made up of things like baking soda, which is nonorganic but essential to making things like organic bread. Today, more than 250 nonorganic substances are on the list, up from 77 in 2002.
How many more nonorganic substances are going to be added to this list (by the way – the last one added was a herbacide)? Why we are paying extra for this crap??? Come on food industry — we deserve better!
Now you know my opinions… what pisses you off?
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It’s as if you looked into my brain and saw the three things I’ve been ranting to my husband about this week and wrote a post on it … WITH MY SAME EXACT OPINIONS. So a) get out of my head, Ms. Inception and b) thanks for taking care of this for me so that now I don’t have to. I just feel better knowing our shared opinions are out there in the world.
Yeah, get outta my head too! I was just writing a post on Marissa Mayer. Definitely hits me hard considering I’ll be taking maternity leave at the end of the year and the expectation on our end is to work from home for the last six weeks. Pretty freaked out about how I’m gonna manage that.
So you totally just punked me again. I got the reply to my email with your comment above and I was like, “Wait, what do you mean you’re taking maternity leave at the end of the year, Michelle? Do you mean you might be next year? How many months are left in this year? (I started counting months on my fingers)” And then I said, I bet it’s Victoria again! And it was!
I don’t really have any specific advice for you, Victoria (not Michelle — wouldn’t want to confuse the email notifications again). I’m just glad I could settle this internal monologue in my head.
As you were.
I get it — and really you make all kinds of false statements before you have the baby (well, I definitely did), but she is not going to look back in 5 years and think “man, I really should have skipped my maternity leave.”
And you WILL manage. It’s amazing what you will manage actually. You are always stronger and more capable of what you think! Plus, you’ll have us to support you. It’s cliche, but true – it takes a village!
I’m pretty sure we just share a brain — and I was just channeling you! I feel much better after venting — until I saw the shooting this morning. What the EFF is wrong with people?
OMG. That Chick-fil-a owner’s statement, “we are married to our first wives…” like he is so high and mighty because of that. What a shithead. Marriages end for all kinds of reasons so that just pisses me off. Not to mention everything else about him.
Seriously. I’m just hoping there is a special place in hell…
Wow – controversy central. In general I agree with you. Big thumbs up on the Yahoo thing, maternity leave does not get the credit it deserves. What really pisses me off is that people think it’s a VACATION. SO NOT the case. Yes, you get some bonding time, but those first few weeks of newborn life can be HELL with no sleep, constant feeding sore boobs, sore lady parts, etc. Men would need a year to recover from the trauma of birth, loss of sleep, and loss of self I’m sure. Agree about mixing corporate and religion too, but do have a lot of friends who support Chik-Fil-A specifically because it is owned and operated by a Christian family, so I’m not surprised by the remarks. Good post with lots to think about……
I’m sure she will have more help than I could ever afford! You can’t pay for those newborn/baby moments though – I hope she doesn’t miss out!
I am right on track with you on all three articles/news that are pissing you off. I am the daughter of a working woman who would have loved to have stayed home with me, but due to instability in my dad’s profession, she was forced to work the entire time, minus the two months of maternity leave. So many women, including her family members, would talk to her about how said she must be to have to work, and wouldn’t she rather stay at home with me, making her feel less than. If she didn’t have to work, she wouldn’t have. I support all women and their choices, whether it’s to be at home or be at the office. Society needs to get off the backs of women, specifically mothers, who are doing their best for their families.
I appreciate the intention of the support from society- but the message gets twisted and we get nowhere! Just let people be people. Why must we box each other in?
Agreed. The news has been sucking lately. Then waking up this morning and hearing about the shooting in Colorado? I just really don’t know what the world is coming to. Those are all really good topics of discussion and important to bring to light!
The shooting just SICKENS me. What is wrong with people??
Amen, girl. How can she not take a maternity leave? It was a victory if I managed a shower in those early weeks, let alone trying to function as a professional. The expectation that this creates of new moms is just wrong. And the chick fil a thing? Ugh. I love their chicken biscuits but man, that intolerance is hard to excuse. Ughhhh.
I agree with everything you mentioned. Yes, woman need to take that Maternity Leave.. Its a time for bonding, shifting of ones peridum (sp?).. and yes, those moments when you become more of a mother, a care giver!. I chose to stay at home, but worked with a family business so I was always supported. I still cannot believe woman’s right have not moved forward enough… I remember fighting for them when I was very young.. and still woman today have to deal with it!! Michelle, you are a stronger woman than I and your comments should be heard in a larger medium!! As far as Chick Fil.. I don’t buy from them.. too expensive!! Also, the Organic article..you have spoken to Norm… who for 27 years produced a “real” organic farm .. Part of the reason he left that business was due to all the phony regulations and non-organic items added! Why they charge more?? Its because of the word “Organic”..most people just realize what real Organic is all about!!
Most companies do offer maternity leave on their own — without the government forcing them to. And as far as the chick fil a comment, I find it interesting that you “hope there is a special place in hell” for Mr. Cathy. That’s more hateful than what he said.
Actually, they don’t. At least none of the ones I’ve worked at — including very large corporations. The government forces them to have Family and Medical Leave for people who have worked at the company for a year — but it’s not paid. The short-term disability I received is not the same as a maternity leave. I got that leave because I pushed a human out of my body and needed to recover.
As for the comment — well, it’s not just about what he said, but the anti-gay/hate organizations that Chik-fil-a gives money too. Yeah, I don’t think I’m more hateful. Was it a harsh statement? Yes. But actions speak waaay louder than words. I would never donate money to actually have him burn in hell. Truthfully, I hope he has a change of heart, but realistically I know that’s not going to happen.
freedom of speech (and picking one’s dining establishment) is what makes this country great. It will be issues that really don’t have anything to do with anything that systematically take us down as a whole. Its sad that people focus on stupid stuff instead of things that matter.
That CEO might have a great career; but where will her children land in that. Will they one day be kids who blame their issues on the fact their mom never spent time with them? Being a mom matters; jobs are – well – not as important.
I’m not touching the gay marriage/Chik Fil A issue other than to say “I now pronounce you man and wife” and I love chicken and peach milkshakes; all good by me. If I did disagree but liked the food….I’d probably still go – my belly; my decision. I love that I have the freedom to say so but I do find MANY, MANY more things way more important.
Only kind of organic you can guarantee – grow it yourself.
I ask myself all the time (when it comes to my kids and work – when I’m feeling guilty about leaving or not being able to do more at work) — will this matter when I’m older? Which is more important — going to a meeting where I will offer my input OR going to a school event where my kid will give me a 10000 watt smile the moment he/she sees me? School event always wins! Luckily, my job is flexible and my superiors have kids/grandkids. They get it.
Not to beat a dead horse (chicken?), but What bothers me most about CFA is the millions of dollars donated to anti-gay/discriminatory organizations. There are so many other issues we have in this country – including hunger – that they could contribute to and they this pick THIS?? I don’t want my money to go there, so it won’t.
AGREED about the organic.