So, this whole baby thing is really happening soon, huh?
I feel like I only post side shots… I look bigger from the front!
I’m kinda half in denial, but lately my thoughts have drifted towards thoughts on the baby’s arrival. I’d love to tell you I am fully prepared, but that would be a lie. I mean, nobody is ever prepared to have a baby. Even if it’s not your first trip to the rodeo.
The funny thing is, I’m not worried so much about the things I stressed about the last two times I’ve done this.
With my first pregnancy I was just in a state of “WTF.” I didn’t didn’t know what to expect AT ALL. I was mostly worried about labor, delivery, and breastfeeding, because I feel like that’s what everyone tells you to focus on. The baby? Psshhh… (ha, I was so wrong – having a baby rocked my world). I also stressed out frequently about about sleep. In fact, I think my life revolved around the baby’s sleep schedule for at least the first year if not more. I was a headcase.
He still makes this face.
With my second pregnancy, I was mostly concerned about the well-being of B and how this was going to impact his life. Maybe this stems from being the oldest, but I knew it was going to change our relationship ( I wasn’t wrong). I was slightly concerned about balancing two kids and finding an in-home daycare (not something we had to worry about right away the first time) – but yeah, I was mostly just worried about how B was going to react. He was not quite 3 and I’m not sure he understand what was going on. (He, in fact, reacted as any typical preschooler would — like an a-hole. Except when he was making his sister laugh. Good thing he’s redeemed himself since then.) Sleep was kind of a non-issue. I just didn’t have time to focus on it. The baby was relevant, but the preschooler was MUCH more demanding. If anything, L was a piece of cake. I kept wondering why I thought having one was hard. As for sleep – naps happened whenever they could and bedtime was much more flexible. L reverse-cycled for the majority of her first year and she woke up at least once to nurse because she refused to eat more at daycare. It wasn’t ideal (and at the time it TOTALLY sucked), but she got over it and to be honest she’s the better sleeper of the two. Go figure.
This time – it’s like a whole new ballgame. In many ways I feel like I’m going back to the beginning – just with two “helpers” in tow. My life is much busier now. Not necessarily with MY priorities (although those have changed too), but theirs. There’s homework, dance, sports, and friends. My little people have their own lives. Where are we fitting a baby into all of this? There are things I am really excited about – the birth, the first smiles, and the snuggles for starters. But then, there are things I’m dreading. The every 2-hour feedings, the engorgement, the “witching hour” (edited to add a link to this post on what the witching hour is), the unresponsiveness, and postpartum recovery. It’s like everything I’ve forgotten is coming back and I remember how hard it is.
I’m mostly afraid that I can’t handle three. Not now, not in the first year, but in the distant future. I already struggle on Saturdays to get the kids to their various activities (that for some reason ALL have to happen in the morning). Adding a third to the mix is just craziness. This of course just opens the floodgates for even more questions… will we ever go on vacation again? How will they all share one bathroom when they are preteen/teenagers? How can I make sure we don’t spoil/favor one child over another? How are we going to do dropoff? How am I going to get to work on time??
Truthfully, many of these thoughts are ridiculous. I mean, yes, they are things to consider – but it’s not like I’m giving birth to a 4-year old. I have time. A teeny tiny blip of time to enjoy every snuggle, smile, silly face, and screech of joy. And the kids have time to enjoy a younger sibling. To boss him/her around. To show him/her the good and the bad. Yes, the dynamic of my family is going to change, but it might be amazing!
Yes, I’m afraid and nervous and most of the time I wonder what the hell I was thinking, but there’s one thing is for certain – there is never a single regret. Ready or not we’re about to become a family of 5!
First of all, I’m not sure what the “witching hour” is, and I’m not sure I want to know!
Second, you’re going to do it. You just will. People who are much lower functioning than you do, and somehow it all works out. So just enjoy it. Remember why you wanted another baby in the first place. Don’t worry. Everything will be amazing.
The witching hour is basically when you have a newborn and everything sucks because it won’t stop crying. It’s completely short lived, but it can be SOOOO frustrating because there is literally nothing you can do except stick a really sore boob in it’s mouth and hope for the best. It’s always when I get all depressed and hormonal. Although, I’m hoping to experience less of that this time (it lasted a long time with B, but was just a week or so with L). I’m really selling this baby thing, huh?
Lol to people who are lower functioning than me do it – and you are so right. I can do this – if anything I need to stop OVERthinking it.
Ha! I just came over to ask what the witching hour is and I see Melissa already went there.
Once BW3 is old enough where you don’t think you’ll be able to do everything (i.e. Saturdays) is when B will be big enough to help out more. You’ll be good as gold!
Good point about B being older and being able to help out more when BW3 starts getting involved in activities and stuff. This is my “oldest sibling brain” thinking — it always helps to get perspective from someone who had older brothers! Anything else your brothers did for you that will help ease my ridiculous fears?? 🙂
They changed my diapers and fed me! *not kidding* B will basically be raising BW3 in about 5 years. Hee
You look great! Seriously, ALL baby! Thank you for writing this post- I really enjoyed reading about your experience with your second kiddo, since that’s where I’ll be in a few months. 🙂 It certainly does seem to go by in a blink of an eye!
I’m on baby #1, and I’m most nervous about postpartum recovery. I want to know what the witching hour is too!
Don’t worry too much! It’s short lived — but at the same time do not be afraid to ask for help or tell other people how you are feeling!
The witching hour (sometimes hours) is in the early evening/nighttime when your hormones dip and the baby decides that it super-duper hungry and fussy. This usually happens from about 1-2 weeks to about 6-8 weeks (peaking around 6 weeks). Typically it starts around twilight and can last for a few hours – or just a little while. If you’re nursing, the baby will act like it’s not getting enough from you – but really they could be “tanking up” for the night or they are just annoyed that it’s nighttime. Both of my kids did this and they were really easy going babies – minus those fussy evenings. It’s also when I felt the worst with the baby blues. Of course, not every person has the blues or every baby is fussy during that time – but it’s pretty common. (here’s a good post about it: http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/10/qa_the_witching.html)
I will live vicariously through you with 3 kids — There was always part of me that wanted to be pregnant again and experience a newborn again, but I would have gone to the loony bin (but then again I am 10 years older than you!) and the poor house –I say that as we just put a lot of his toddler stuff out on the curb today to make room for real t-ball and real basketball hoops and stuff like that I can’t believe he is 4!
Before I had my first I actually said to my in laws one day “I should get some good books since I’ll be off all summer and have so much free time.” Ha! Little did I know!
#3 hasn’t been too bad really. Just like you said about your second, the older two require so much effort that the baby, by comparison, seems like the easy part of the day. The bewitching hour still sucks. I’ll be making dinner, the older two are yelling that they don’t like what I’m cooking while the baby is yelling because he’s tired and wants to be picked up. BUT all that yelling during the bewitching hour translated into him sleeping through the night without much effort on my part.
I’m happy to hear that things are too bad with 3! Yours are slightly closer in age than mine – but not by much!! I already feel like this kid is going to feel a little left out – but I guess that explains why the “baby” of the family is always so spoiled. Lol. Yay for sleeping through the night though. Man, that would be nice!
Yep. To everything above. My baby twinges still pop in here and there but I have the same fears you do. (Plus the added expense of #3 in childcare…. okay so that’s a big factor for me.) I’m sure you’ll figure everything out, you’re a wonderful mommy. And I’ll be reading along to see how it goes… I’m letting you test the waters pretty much.
I’ll let you know how to goes! I’m not so worried about daycare – (we have an awesome in-home daycare that this baby will go to for the first 2.5 years) – but I am worried about the expenses as they get older. Summer camp especially is so expensive!
I love it! I loved your post, the pictures and your responses– stick a really sore boob in his mouth and hope for the best–that is golden!! I have to say, I know nothing about all this. I’m a 38 year old with no kids, though I would love to have some. You wondered if you were “really selling this baby thing” but I have to say, yes, you really are. God bless you all the way, and though the dynamics of your family will change, you will be blessed and happy–I am certain of this!! I just wonder how you will keep on running with all of this?
Thank you!! I’m glad I didn’t scare you away from babies. I love them – I’m totally a baby person (toddlers on the other hand…) despite how this post might sound. I am truly excited about meeting this kid. “All greats changes are preceeded by chaos” right?
Good question about the running! I hope to fit it in somehow. I’m thankful for a gym with a great daycare and husband who is willing to “let me do my thing” because he knows it keeps me sane. I have low expectations the first year or so – but I do plan on marathoning again!!
You’ve so got this. I don’t blame you for freaking out, but I also know that you are a good mom and having another certainly isn’t going to change that. Hugs!
Thanks! And if anything there’s the “fake it till I make it” approach, right? Lol!
We’re lightly talking about maybe baby #2, and flashbacks to all the things I totally won’t miss at all about infants (like your said witching hour … brr!) keep popping up. I love hearing your perspective on #2 and now #3, it sort of gives me a heads up for what’s ahead!
And as the husband and I kept telling ourselves during those hellish early months: if lots of people dumber than us with fewer means can make this work, we can too!
You look great! So excited for you. You and Dan are great parents and I’m sure in no time it will be like the baby was always there. I def. remember the witching hour well! With Drew, Tim was working nights and being on my own with an almost 3 year old that needed to be fed, bathed and put to bed/read books to while Drew basically screamed the whole time… well, its hard to forget. Lol. But, like everything else in infancy, it’s short lived! Looking forward to the arrival and reading along. 🙂
Honestly, reading this reminds me of how far we’ve come in such a short time! I’m not so far out that I can imagine doing this all over again. I was so ill-prepared for the challenge of having a baby. It seriously rocks your world.
Good luck!
Great post!!! You’re pretty stellar and will make it all work. I swear I would have ALL the same worries though. I try to not get ahead of myself even with one, but it’s so hard!!!
You look awesome!
The “witching hour” was more like hours for us! Happiest Baby on the Block saved my sanity during those times 🙂
You look great and I am sure you will do great. After watching my sister-in-law and brother-in-law have their third a few years ago, it is amazing how much the older ones help. They are about 4 years ahead of you with one that is 10, one that is 7 and the “baby” that is 4. From what they say, they baby part gets easier and goes quicker with each one.
I am super nervous about having one. I know that it is going to be a huge change to our life.