On My Mind

Thanks to a combination of sleep deprivation, hormones, and trying to get my life back in order I have a lot of things on mind. Some are funny, some are trivial, some are serious, and some are out of plain annoyance. Enjoy…

It’s official…

loverunningEven though this blog is named “Crazy Running Legs”, deep down I questioned if I really enjoyed running or if I was just faking it SO MUCH that I learned to love it. Well, the verdict is in. Nothing like an extended absence to make you really appreciate things. I truly, deeply love to run. Thank God. It would be really annoying for me to keep up this blog if I didn’t.

 Please don’t tell me you’re tired. 

Just-Tired

Unless you have a baby or you’re pregnant, I don’t want to hear it. I mean, I sympathize with you because being tired sucks, but still don’t expect me to commiserate. Especially if you’re tired because you stayed up late for fun. And yes, I CHOSE to be this tired and it is worth it, but just…no. It’s not the same. Well, maybe it is, except it’s like choosing to go out and party every night and when you’re 35? That’s just crazy talk.

Postpartum hormones, I hate you.

hormoneguide

I don’t have postpartum depression (thankfully!) and the baby blues were VERY minimal this time around, so I really can’t complain. BUT I am slightly anxiety-ridden and stressed out about things I can’t control. This includes, but is not limited to: ways my children can injure/harm themselves while they are at summer camp, my parents getting ill/sick/dying, my kids becoming teenagers (which brings on a whole slew of other worries/fears), and other disasters like my house spontaneously setting itself on fire.

It’s really fun.

I think every parent has these fears, but they are super amplified for me the first 6 months or so postpartum. Don’t worry, they aren’t extreme (which CAN be a symptom of PPD), but every now and then I will be struck with these horrid thoughts. I think these are the things people don’t talk about happening after having a baby because they fear it’s not “normal”, but since when is postpartum “normal”? So basically, I have no advice on how to deal with the hormones, but if you’re experiencing it too, you’re not alone.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to read blogs from first-time moms and not tell them to just “relax”

raising2parents

When you have your first baby everything seems hard. At least it did for me. I stressed about everything, I was anal about everything, and read up on EVERYTHING. Then I had subsequent kids, who are no less challenging (I mean, they all have their quirks), but the baby was always the easiest part of the equation.

So, now I’m that asshole who is always commenting things like, “This too shall pass!” (it will) and “Relax and don’t stress about it – you’ll figure it out!” (you will!) and I’m sorry. However, I’m still going to say these things to you but only because they are true and in 5 years they will all seem so damn trivial to you. In fact, you’ll think, “Why did I waste so much time worrying about why my baby wouldn’t eat avocados when now they want to eat me out of house and home!” Promise.

As much as I love running, I cannot read posts about other people’s running workouts/splits/lots and lots of numbers.

jensen

Exactly.

Now, I love race recaps, and I love to read about people’s training experiences, but when I read something that involves numbers and splits and all of that shit? My brain pretty much closes down. Reading that someone ran a quarter of a mile in 25 thousand nanoseconds makes me want to stab my eyes out. Am I alone in this feeling?

If it’s not a pizza, don’t call it a pizza.

deprived

Same goes for cake.

I get it, you’re trying to be creative – but unless it’s really a pizza – don’t call it that. This goes for any made up food used to replaced something that is yummy and good and should be enjoyed (in moderation). Zucchini that’s shredded and boiled is not pasta. Veggie loaf is NOT cake. Truthfully, I don’t even know WHAT that is. But come on now – just call it what it is!

Babies giggling in the tub are just cute. 

To be honest, this kid is on my mind about 80% of the day. I just love his smiley baby face to pieces and I miss him SO MUCH. Everything else just makes me grumpy. Obviously.

There’s more, but I’m tired (see above) and I need to pour myself a glass of wine, so I’ll save it for another time. Aren’t you lucky?

Tell me, what’s on YOUR mind? 

Comments

  1. says

    I’m 31+ weeks now and the nightmares are starting. I had them the first time around at the end of pregnancy and the first 9 months post partum. They stopped when I quit nursing. I dream about my kids hurting themselves or someone stealing them. Crazy crap I dislike it. Hormones are crazy.

    Also I wish I would’ve listened to ppl who told me to relax with my first one. I was so NOT relaxed I could barely get myself to sleep when the baby slept because I was scared he’d hurt himself when I sleeping. Nuts

    I want to junk punch all people who bitch about being tired who a. Don’t have kids b. aren’t pregnant cuz I have those and work full time as an ICU nurse I don’t sit down. I’m tired. A coworker got the first part of a shift off over me because he was goig to be hung over and tired. I wanted to junk punch him.

    Running is amazing and I miss running for straight miles. The most I run now is 2 min at a crack and it doesn’t feel good :-( someday ill run again

    And those are the thoughts your post inspired :-)

    • says

      Exactly on the hormones. It sucks!!

      I cannot imagine being a nurse (especially working in ICU) and pregnant – serious kudos to you!

      I still can’t do the whole “sleep when the baby is sleeping” thing – but I am better about going to bed at the same time as him and just giving myself a break. I think the sleep deprivation has hit me hardest this time around (there is a reason why people have babies when they are younger!!), but I’ve also been blessed with a super chill little guy. I also believe that the more laid back YOU are, the more relaxed the baby is. Just a theory, but this kid is proving it!

  2. says

    I’m glad SOMEONE loves running! I never got to the point where I “faked it til I made it” with running — it was mental agony the whole time. Now I wonder why I tortured myself for so long!

    Happily, I’m still feeling pretty well rested. I’ve only had a couple bouts of minor insomnia & yes, I get tired easily, but nothing a quick 15 min nap can’t fix. I’m counting my blessings because I know this change drastically any day now!

    I’m honestly really worried about PPD — especially since I’ve struggled with anxiety for so long pre-pregnancy. Ryan (and everyone else that knows about my anxiety issues) is already aware he should be on the lookout since sometimes new mom’s don’t even realize they’re struggling with PPD. Glad it’s not TOO bad for you & that you are able to rationalize that you’re worrying about things needlessly.

    And YES YES YES to your complaints on workout statistics & fake indulgences. I roll my eyes every time I see someone post about that crap.
    Theresa recently posted..Confessions at 38 Weeks

    • says

      I’m surprised you tortured yourself for so long too!

      Glad you are (were?) feeling good! I was sore (but not abnormally so) at the end, but I can’t complain about sleep. I slept reaalllly well that last week! Until of course the night before I went into labor. I’m pretty sure I was awake for about 40 hours before I got any sleep again (and then it was in 1-2 hour segments). Totally worth it though!

      I hope if you do experience any PPD you’ll call your Dr asap! It can manifest itself in weird ways – not just the “I feel no emotions” kind of way that some people expect. I feel like sometimes I feel too many emotions. That said – I can definitely see why women don’t realize they are struggling with PPD.

      On a lighter note, I cannot wait until you have that baby!

  3. says

    Truth. Oh, so much truth!!! Way too anal as first time parent. Although, it drives me more crazy when I see crazy, obsessive about every little thing parents still for the 2nd/3rd/etc kid. Get a grip, already! And yes to reading every little detail of workouts. I used to share all that, but then realized I hate reading it so why am I writing it. No more. As well as crazy concoctions that are so not what they say they are. I have no doubt they still taste good (maybe – ha!) but don’t pretend they’re something they aren’t.

    Lastly, more serious comment, I find it interesting that you’ve done reflecting on running and if you really enjoy it. I have done that a lot lately too but have been coming to the opposite conclusion. Well, not so much opposite. I still do really enjoy running, but not having to have my workotus/training revolve around it. Hard to do when I still want to do races. Trying to find a balance and even considering running a lot less and seeing if keeping strength/cardio fitness with cross training is enough. Sure not to be the best runner but to still do races and enjoy the process getting there more. We shall see.
    Tina @ Best Body Fitness recently posted..Fun Fitness

    • says

      YES on the parents who still focus on the little things with 2nd or 3rd (or more) kids. Aren’t they tired??

      I definitely agree with you on not letting work outs revolve around running. I still really like spinning/indoor cycling and my new affection for strength training is going strong too, so it’s really about finding a balance for me right now. And really, I NEED that balance anyways so I can build up my endurance and strength.

      I’ve decided that while I would really, really like to PR a few races in the next year — I also just enjoy running without focusing on a time goal. It’s so nice to run and not feel disappointed that my pace is a 10 or 11 minute mile. Soooo… it’s should be interesting when I get back into “training” mode but for right now, I’m just enjoying it. So, it sounds like we are kind of in the same place! I say we just go with the flow and see where it takes us :)

  4. says

    This made me laugh and I needed that because I’ve been extra cranky for no apparent reason (do I NEED a reason, no didn’t think so). Good(?) to hear the morbid thoughts about having things happen to your kids and or family is relatively normal, every once in awhile I imagine the worst…complete with visualization of the worst. As my mom would tell me, don’t borrow trouble, worrying about it won’t solve anything. Easier said than done right? I try not to smack people who complain about being tired. I mean honestly I am tired but I feel pretty functional so I don’t complain about it too terribly much, unless it’s to my husband, because I married him so I’d have somone to bitch to that wouldn’t judge me :).
    Carissa recently posted..Ride Across Indiana 2013 (R.A.I.N.)

  5. Angie says

    I’m constantly telling myself that this will pass, especially since we are randomly having middle of the night wake ups! I’m on my first but I already see how quickly they grow and although it can tough right now when he’s a teenager I’m going to be wishing for the baby days. I’ve been told my sitter that I’m really relaxed. I’m picky about what he eats right now but I’m not going to go crazy it he doesn’t get all his naps in at daycare. There are too any distraction there. I also agree that zucchini doesn’t count as pasta and just eat a slice of real pizza! When I get the intense craving for In and Out, I get it and enjoy it and that’s it. Then I don’t need it for a couple months.

  6. says

    I love everything about this. Seriously. I think the “Have some wine” is my fav, though the bit about running numbers and not calling it pizza were pretty dead-on. I’m glad the blues haven’t hit you too hard. You might like the CTFD Parenting Method I posted a link to today. Kinda funny… :) Have a good one!
    Tiff @ Love Sweat & Beers recently posted..Thursday Thoughts

    • says

      Oh yes, the CTFD approach to parenting is definitely something I recommend. Lol. I want to pass it on to others sometimes because it really helps you embrace parenthood!!

  7. says

    I think I will have some wine. I don’t think I’m super anal as a first time mom (I think my husband is more than me, which is weird, right?), and I definitely didn’t feel super awkward from the beginning of parenthood. Babysitting newborns in high school paid off!

    I love hearing what’s on your mind ;)
    char eats greens recently posted..things i wonder

  8. says

    I think you, my friend, are freaking hillarious. :) I made zuchini pizzas the other night and I do call them that because that’s what they are and they are delicious, BUT…they are definitely not pizza. haha

    I can’t stand reading most runners posts to be honest…I think that’s why I like you so much. You dont’ go into all the details I could care less about. haha ;-)

    I so agree about first time parents and I always wonder why I thought it was so hard. I think the second time around I am wayyyyy more scared of having a toddler running around than I am of the newborn part. In fact…I think I’ll just wait a little longer. haha
    Amanda @ Skill of Strength recently posted..Life Lately

    • says

      Oh, I wasn’t thinking you were part of that list. Ha ha. I think you’re doing a great job as a new mom. You’re attentive to the schedule/routine (which is SO important!), but also flexible when you need to be. You survived Hunter being in the hospital for how long without losing it? Yeah, you’re definitely not one of the new parents I was referring to. Ha ha.

    • says

      I think it’s OK to eat zucchini with veggies and sauce – but it’s just not pasta to me. Lol!

      Awww – Izzy’s so cute! Glad E could provide some entertainment!

  9. says

    Oh my goodness Evan is adorable. The part about misnamed foods cracked me up. I too am so tired of people making something and calling it something else. If you are not eating X food group that is fine but stop trying to make things taste like that X food that you have decided not to eat. That defeats the purpose a little bit I think.
    Melissa @My Peach Life recently posted..Weekend Getaway: Charleston Part 2

  10. says

    I know I’m going to be way, WAY more relaxed with subsequent kids. I want to go back and punch myself for some of the things I was worried about with the first one. :) Seems like this is just one of those things no one can tell us–we all just have to learn it the hard way!

    I do complain about being tired a lot, but mostly because I can’t figure out WHY, and it drives me nuts. I sometimes wish I were pregnant so it would at least make sense! :)
    Kim @ healthy nest recently posted..Finding intent

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