Reason 1809283 I’m Lame

I did something I HATE doing this week… I backed out of a commitment.

Not only was the commitment something I was planning on doing for MONTHS, but it also involved spending the night at a ritzy hotel AND running.  To say I feel super lame would be an understatement.

The event?

ZOOMA Florida.

Zooma2014

I ran it last year and it was well-organized, beautiful, and I had just a fantastic time. It was the hardest race I had ever done (thanks to being 26 weeks pregnant), and really wanted to come back this year and PR the crap out of it. It is DEFINITELY a PR type of race.

Unfortunately, the logistics are not working out. Damn logistics. I have to admit, backing out is not something I typically do. Even if I dread doing something, if I’ve said yes, I’ll do it. I also have a hard time saying no, so this is a really tough decision for me. It’s laden with guilt and has weight heavily on my mind for the past few weeks when I became clear that things weren’t going to happen.

I’m pretty bummed about it. Not only is it going to be a great race with PERFECT weather — but I am going to miss out on meeting all of these fantastic ladies.

It kills me to admit when I have too much going on, and over I’ve over committed. But, I have to put my family and my sanity first (it’s questionable at times which one takes priority) and sometimes that means saying no. Or backing out. Or pulling back. It doesn’t make me feel any less guilty though and it’s always a lesson learned.

My biggest issue is that I feel like I am quitting. But between Dan’s schedule and mine, the kids, the pumping, my crazy week of travel last week, and having to shell out $220 to fix our HVAC this week, I am feeling overextended and something has got to give. Unfortunately,  it’s this race.

This is one life lesson I am still learning. Every damn day.

My mantra for the week… it’s not really making me feel better about any of this, but it’s true.

So, if you are in the Jacksonville area and you’re thinking about running the race… DO IT. For me. And then come back here and rub it in my face.

Seriously — good luck to everyone racing this weekend. Run a mile for me!

Make me feel better (or worse)… When was the last time YOU had to back out of a commitment??