Reason 1809283 I’m Lame

I did something I HATE doing this week… I backed out of a commitment.

Not only was the commitment something I was planning on doing for MONTHS, but it also involved spending the night at a ritzy hotel AND running.  To say I feel super lame would be an understatement.

The event?

ZOOMA Florida.

Zooma2014

I ran it last year and it was well-organized, beautiful, and I had just a fantastic time. It was the hardest race I had ever done (thanks to being 26 weeks pregnant), and really wanted to come back this year and PR the crap out of it. It is DEFINITELY a PR type of race.

Unfortunately, the logistics are not working out. Damn logistics. I have to admit, backing out is not something I typically do. Even if I dread doing something, if I’ve said yes, I’ll do it. I also have a hard time saying no, so this is a really tough decision for me. It’s laden with guilt and has weight heavily on my mind for the past few weeks when I became clear that things weren’t going to happen.

I’m pretty bummed about it. Not only is it going to be a great race with PERFECT weather — but I am going to miss out on meeting all of these fantastic ladies.

It kills me to admit when I have too much going on, and over I’ve over committed. But, I have to put my family and my sanity first (it’s questionable at times which one takes priority) and sometimes that means saying no. Or backing out. Or pulling back. It doesn’t make me feel any less guilty though and it’s always a lesson learned.

My biggest issue is that I feel like I am quitting. But between Dan’s schedule and mine, the kids, the pumping, my crazy week of travel last week, and having to shell out $220 to fix our HVAC this week, I am feeling overextended and something has got to give. Unfortunately,  it’s this race.

This is one life lesson I am still learning. Every damn day.

My mantra for the week… it’s not really making me feel better about any of this, but it’s true.

So, if you are in the Jacksonville area and you’re thinking about running the race… DO IT. For me. And then come back here and rub it in my face.

Seriously — good luck to everyone racing this weekend. Run a mile for me!

Make me feel better (or worse)… When was the last time YOU had to back out of a commitment??

Comments

  1. says

    I had to back out of Space Coast because of the flu and I didn’t even want to do that, so I understand. But sometimes it happens. Don’t feel guilty. Feel proud of all the things you DO do.

    If I didn’t have a race next weekend, I would have loooved to do this one with you. So maybe next year you can make it up to yourself and I can finally run it!

    • says

      I was going to cheer for you at Space Coast and was totally bummed! It’s hard passing up that race… especially when there is perfect weather.

      It really is such a great race. Part of the problem is that it’s on a holiday weekend and Dan cannot get off work. So maybe if they change the date. Or maybe if I start leaving the kids home alone. Kidding. Maybe.

  2. says

    You’ll laugh at yourself later in life (hopefully) when you look back at how much you stressed about certain things that won’t matter at that point (this is totally meant to be encouraging, please take it that way;-). Basically I mean that it probably seems like a really big deal to you now because it goes against your character to back out & it’d be a lot of fun, but it sounds like you’re making the right decision regarding your priorities! I still think you’re AWESOME!
    Gina recently posted..Teeth Sighting (and misc. family updates)

    • says

      You’re right – I will! Ultimately, it was not worth it to be stressed. Stressed about being away (again), stressed about having to pump, stressed up driving up during rush hour, etc. It was definitely a tough choice, but like you said… priorities. Sometimes I have them :)

      AND THANK YOU.

  3. says

    I wanted to run this one also but I am so busy right now I just couldn’t fit it in. I have a really bad habit of overextending myself and then taking it out on my husband. I am trying super hard to change that this year. Maybe instead of running the race, take a minute to sit down with a nice glass of wine :) so much better than running!
    Melissa @My Peach Life recently posted..Miles of Thankfulness

    • says

      We will both miss racing together :)

      It is so easy to overextend yourself and then take it out on others. I’m trying to be better too! I think I’ve finally reached my breaking point where I’ve realized I cannot do it all.

      I’m sure there will be wine!

  4. says

    OK, first of all, you need to change the title of this post. Backing out of a commitment when you cannot do it isn’t lame. It’s wise. It means you put you and your family first. Second, good for you for admitting you can’t do it all. I think if more people were honest about that, the world would be a happier place.

    Also, I think this means we need to have a wine date this weekend instead :)
    Victoria recently posted..Lately

    • says

      I will always feel lame when I am backing out of something… but I do know that my priorities are in the right place! And I’m with you on people admitting they can’t do it all. It’s okay to be human!!

      And I can do wine whenever. Just let me know :)

  5. says

    Clearly, your priorities are out of whack.

    :)

    We’ve all been there and I know when I had to back out of a girl’s weekend/race because the baby wouldn’t take a bottle, I felt bad about it then but now it doesn’t even matter anymore. Hell, I didn’t even remember it until I read this post. :)
    Kara recently posted..We’re all winners today

    • says

      I actually forgot that your baby wouldn’t take a bottle!! It still sucks having to say no, but I am enjoying a glass of wine right now… so that helps.

    • says

      Yes – when you have another person to worry about it’s very different! You will learn your limitations and as much as it sucks to say no, it’s always worth it for someone else. Even if that person is just you!

  6. says

    I’m sorry that you’re in that position right now, but there’s always next year!! I feel the EXACT same way with what you said about a hard time not following through with things and also turning things down. I can SO relate. I’m sure it must be a little bit of relief (underneath there somewhere) for not having to go to the race. Besides, maybe I can come down next year and join ya (Presley already told me to do it – and I seriously would have if I wasn’t in school right now). Enjoy your weekend and hopefully your sanity improves…partially kidding on that last part!! haha
    char eats greens recently posted..thursday things: fussy baby edition

    • says

      It was a relief when I finally emailed Tricia and let her know. I hate letting people down, but she was so awesome about it. It’s part of why I love ZOOMA – the woman involved are AMAZING!

      I hope things settled down for you soon as well. I guess being in school it’s not going to end any time soon — but soon enough, right?

      We WILL run a race together at some point. I know it!

    • says

      I’m bummed I don’t get to meet you! I’m sure we will run another Florida race together soon though, right?? Hope you have a great race tomorrow!

  7. says

    Aww, bummer! It happens though. I backed out on a family babysitter and nice dinner reservations with the hubby for tonight. I’ve just been trying so hard to get E to bed with his routine at night, and I just didn’t want to rock the boat. Though I must admit, I do eventually need to give up a little control and actually get out of the house at some point…
    Tiff @ Love Sweat & Beers recently posted..Friday Five

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