Expert Advice Time: Three Kids, Two Parents

Now that I’ve expertly survived an entire year, I thought I would dole out a little advice. I mean, I now know EVERYTHING there is know about having three kids, so you should follow everything I do to a tee.

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Obviously.

If you do, you too will feel sleep deprived, inadequate, and completely paranoid. So without further ado, here are my top 5 tips for surviving a zone defense. It’s not man on man anymore…

1. Continuously remind yourself that you are responsible for three people (other than yourself).

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Sometimes you need a little reality check. Usually that reality check comes every .25 seconds when my kids whine the word, “Mommy” (or “Mom” if you have a too cool 7 year old) even though I am the only adult in a 2 mile radius. But then sometimes you really forget you have three kids. It’s usually brief, but there’s always that moment of “holy shit! they are all mine!” that you have to get over. Never gets old.

2. If things are going smoothly, you’re probably doing something wrong. Or you lost a kid.

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But seriously, there have been so many times over this past year where I thought, “Oooo…. silence. Ahhhh.” and then the 5 seconds later I realized that wasn’t a good thing. Kids do stupid things, because they are kids and it’s your job to discover them. The biggest challenge is NOT LAUGHING and having to pretend you are pissed off. Like the time when the people at the Y asked you if used the term “pissed off” a lot. Yeah, we are so winning at this parenting thing.

3. Accept that sometimes, dessert can be dinner. And so can breakfast.

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Sometimes food shopping doesn’t happen and all you have in your fridge is something completely unhealthy. Which is a lesser evil? Eating crap or not eating at all?

4. Sleep is for the weak. Also, not sleeping makes you bitchy. And that’s really not advice. Just reality. But you want some advice? Coffee.

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Coffee is how I’ve survived — hell, how I’m still surviving. I’m so thankful for coffee (and wine).

5. Remember that even in the most challenging times, your kids are going to become teenagers and it’s going to eclipse anything you ever considered “hard.”

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Yay.

Comments

    • says

      I totally see you having 3-4 kids! Around 18 months-2 they get easier (although they also start having tantrums, so that’s fun) and that’s when baby fever kicks in. I am not one of those 2 under 2 or 3 under 3 people — they amaze me. No, I spaced mine out! I actually love the spacing between L and E (4 years, almost 2 months). B and L are 2 years and 9 months apart and it was a little too close for me. You’ll figure out what works for you — or you know, you’ll just deal. Because honestly, that’s what parenthood is all about! The biggest thing I always worried about when adding more kids was “will my heart have more room” and it really goes without saying — there is always room. <3

  1. Ruby says

    Two already nearly killed me. You are an inspiration, I think you’re awesome & a great pal. Sleep is indeed for the weak, and coffee & wine make everything better.

    • says

      Two was hard too. I’m not quite sure why I signed up for three, actually, but I can honestly say it was the best decision. We will sleep again soon, right?? I feel like our babes are like peas in a pod.

    • says

      You’ll figure it out – well, to the point that I’m at now. Lol. The best and worst part about parenthood is that we have NO idea if we are doing it right.

  2. Mom says

    You are doing a beautiful job of handling 3.. they are happy.. most of the time..they are healthy..most of the time..and they LOVE their MOMMY… most of the time!! Love you <3

    • says

      Well, according to Livie, they love me ALL of the time, but they don’t always LIKE me. Lol.

      But, I guess I’m doing OK with 3. They are all fed (most of the time) and have good hearts (most of the time) – so I guess we are on the right path. Maybe. :)

  3. says

    It totally shocks me sometimes thinking “we made this little thing” and it freaks me out. I wonder if I feel that way bc I had a planned c/s birth. Haha, I guess it happens to everyone!

    And even having an 8 month old, I totally get what you mean. Silence is rarely a good thing. Now that she’s in the walker, she loves to find things and pull them off the shelves. And now she’s wondering if she can touch the electrical outlet! Haha.

    I love the old saying “Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems.” I am already dreading the teenage years. But until we have a few more kids first!

    • says

      I am constantly amazed that my kids belong to me. Especially because (and I know I’m biased) they are so cute and have such nice features. I’m like – where’d that come from??? Lol.

      That saying is SO TRUE. Things with B have been challenging at school lately and I can’t help but think “Damn, it was so much easier when he was a baby.” Of course, that’s not entirely true – each phase has it easy parts and it’s tough parts! And even if I complain, it’s always worth it.

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