Family

Random Rambling

May 24, 2016 by Michelle 4 Comments

Hey, sporadic blogger here! I still have 2 more race recaps to write. Umm, maybe I’ll get to them soon. Before my next race, in October. <–Doable

Part of me wants to give this blog up, but the other part really likes writing and actually misses blogging. So I’m going to do something I haven’t done in a while… ramble on about stuff I’m into these days.

Adidas Energy Boosts

You know I am shoe fickle, but I’ve been running in these shoes for about 6 weeks now and they are SO GREAT. It took me a few runs to adjust to them (probably didn’t help that my first run in them was a 12-miler), but the fit my foot so well and they are extremely breathable. I think my favorite part is that they don’t bother my bunion (my super wide right toe-box), but they are really secure on my foot.

Blueberry 5K

I (surprisingly) haven’t taken an excessive amount of pictures of me wearing them — so here is a picture of me “racing” (used VERY VERY loosely) in my obnxious Neon Yellow Boosts.

I decided to try these out after my Mizuno Wave Riders (which, I loved) started wearing out at 200 miles. I get that there is wear and tear on shoes — but I’ve been running 100+ mile months and I CANNOT keep replacing my shoes every 2 months. Sorry Mizuno. I’m two months in on the Adidas and there is very little wear and tear. I hope this continues.

Gilmore Girls

We (yes, we) are re-watching Gilmore Girls in anticipation of the reboot (on Netflix, despite owning the entire series on DVD. I guess you could say I’m a fan) — and guess what? It’s JUST a great as it was the first time I watched it. And it holds up.

gilmore-girls-poster

Livie was up sick one night and watched a few episodes. She’s pretty much in love with Lorelei and Rory too and is now constantly asking if we can watch the show. Pretty soon my whole family is going to want to watch it and I can’t blame them.

I’m SUPER excited about the reboot (maybe late November — I’m hearing a date — like the 25th??).

And by the way, I’m totally team Jess.

Hamilton

Hey – have you heard about Hamilton?? Ha.

For the 2% out there who haven’t – it’s a Broadway Show. A Hip-Opera if you want to categorize it. An entire show where people sing, rap, and rap some more about the dude on the $10 bill. There’s a lot of hype and it might not seem like it’s for you… but…. it’s amazing. The hype is legit. I haven’t seen it, but the soundtrack is playing NON-STOP. So much so that my kids sing along (PS – the album is rate Explicit, so I’m winning at parenting). In my defense, I am exposing them to a piece of U.S. History (though not always 100% accurate). Don’t believe me? Check out the lyrics — and the annotations. I’ve learned so much!

Hamilton

I never thought I would say this, but I would LOVE, love, LOVE to see this on Broadway. I’m willing it to happen. I really just need to buy tickets. I could fly up there in a heartbeat.

Lululemon – Run Times Short

I know, I know. I’m late to the Lululemon game. I actually have one pair (not sure the style) that I’ve had for about 5 years that I love — but nothing else in my wardrobe has been from there. I realized recently that I hate about 75% of my running shorts (and find myself wearing the same 2-3 pairs OVER AND OVER again). I tried on these shorts a little while ago and loved them, but couldn’t bring myself to by shorts for $54 (plus tax) (even though they are currently on sale for $44). So for Mother’s Day this year — I asked for them. For the record — I don’t mind spending that money on shorts for a gift.

Lulu Run Time Short

Always wanted to post a picture of just a quarter portion of my body/half of my legs.

Livie picked out the pattern (Paradise Camo) so it totally counts.

Now I just need Lulu to make them in more colors/patterns. Not super loving their current options.

Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld

I haven’t really been into reading lately. I don’t know what my deal is. However, this book — I LOVED IT.

Eligible

I really like Curtis Sittenfeld’s books in general (Prep and American Wife are both books I’ve re-read) –and I’m kind of a sucker for anything Pride and Prejudice, so I might be biased. Even if you’ve never read the Jane Austen original (you should), I think you will be find this book totally adorable. It’s a modern re-telling of the P&P with a few twists (Eligible happens to be the name of a VERY popular Reality Television show — a la the Bachelor). And even though I KNEW how it was going to end (spoiler: no twists there), I was still anticipating how it would all unfold. Needless to say, I read this book in about 2-3 days. You should read it too. Also – I need some book recs. What are ya reading??

Snapchat

So I didn’t really understand Snapchat for the longest time (Paula had to teach me), but it’s SO fun! My kids love the filters and I will do anything these days to get all of them in a picture 🙂

If you’re on Snapchat — find me!

Snapchat michellew626

Trail Running

I went on my first trail run a few weeks ago and I think I’m hooked. I’ve been missing out!! We had way too much fun, got really dirty (my shoes are now black and neon yellow), and saw a HUGE ASS ALLIGATOR (thankfully in the river – not on the trail).

Trail

I almost tripped about 800 times – but didn’t – and only managed to roll my ankle once. So, I consider that a huge win. It was really gorgeous.

I’m going to a different trail this weekend — I can’t wait!!

My babies are getting OLD (and so am I )

L celebrated turning 7 in March

She’s just as sassy as ever. Into dance and soccer, loves reading and school. Sometimes threatens to harm classmates. She got her ears pierced on her birthday.

E, my sweet baby E, turned 3 a few weeks ago

He is still not potty trained (woo-boy we are taking are sweet time), still sleeps in a crib, and he still has a pacifier addiction, so basically we are winning at parenting. He is otherwise very self-sufficient, super verbal, extremely loving and cuddly, and happy-go lucky almost all of the time – so I think we ARE doing something right. Also, his love of Star Wars is fierce.

To top it off, this baby turns 10 in July. TEN!! WTH???

This kid is not afraid to state his opinion (repeatedly), loves to draw, a great helper, becoming more responsible, and was chosen to go to Kennedy Space Camp this summer for a week (FREE!). He has grown up a lot this past year and is doing SO much better in school. I can only hope this continues in 5th Grade (O.M.G. HOW?)

And that’s pretty all of the random rambling I think of… for now. What’s up with you? Should we take bets to see how long it takes me to post again?

Add This To The Top Of The “Stupid Things I Said Before I Had Kids” List

October 8, 2015 by Michelle 9 Comments

Before Kids (B.K.) I said the words… “I will never medicate my kids.” (for reasons other than illness – I’m all about vaccinations and antibiotics, when necessary)

For the past 8 years I’ve said, “I’m not judging, but I don’t NEED to medicate my kids.”

In May, B got an official diagnosis I didn’t really anticipate. Those four dreaded words…. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Ok, so maybe I had suspicions, maybe WE had suspicions, but I thought “We can HANDLE this.” And at home, we were handling it. He did his chores (it took forever), he did his homework (it took forever AND he wouldn’t turn it in), and he was able to follow directions (if I repeated myself a million times). Ok, so maybe we were just barely handling it. But what did WE know? It’s all we ever knew.

While we could handle his behavior (or so we though), it was not being tolerated at school. It was beyond frustrating and at times felt like a personal attack on our parenting skills. Not to say we have amazing parenting skills, but a lot of the behaviors that the teachers would report home — we never really saw. It’s not that I didn’t BELIEVE it was happening, I just couldn’t help them. And part of me also thought… he’s JUST a typical boy.

So after two years of back and forth with teachers, countless conversations about him “not reaching his full potential, ” AND the run around from his pediatricians – we finally scored an appointment with a pediatric behavioral specialist… and our lives have changed.

B wasn’t diagnosed with the hyperactive type of ADHD — but the inattentive type. He is actually not hyperactive at all. Most people that know or even meet him are surprised by the diagnosis because he is generally pretty quiet and reserved. He loves to read. He likes puzzles and math. He can focus — and in fact he is hyper-focused on things that he enjoys.

Like I said, I was always pretty adamant that I wasn’t going to medicate. I didn’t feel like it was necessary. I struggled with this decision. I cried, I felt guilty, I procrastinated, I cried some more. It was a huge concern to me that he not lose himself to medication. That he not become a zombie.

But then I heard these words straight from the source… “I feel like I can’t ever catch up because there is just too much going on. There is too much going on in my head.”

*cue mom guilt*

It was at that moment where I (we) threw my (our) opinions out the window and agreed to TRY medication.

The more I researched these meds, the more I realized that I was doing B a disservice by not, AT THE VERY LEAST, trying them out. So, for the past few months we have. During the summer it was mostly on the weekends only when we can monitor his behavior and ensure that it’s working.

Guess what? It’s working. IT’S WORKING.

He IS a completely different kid… but not in a bad way. He’s still B — but he’s also calm, focused, and he FOLLOWS DIRECTIONS.

I actually think the biggest eye opener for us, in all of this, is the whole following directions thing. For the longest time I thought that B just had selective hearing and he was intentionally ignoring me. Now I realize that it’s more than that. Yes, maybe it’s partially selective, but it’s mostly due to the fact that he has a million things going on in his head and if it doesn’t interest him, he ain’t got time for that.

It’s not perfect by any means. He still struggles with organization and management. He still forgets to turn in his homework. He still gets distracted and the teachers find him doodling or making paper Star Wars characters during a lesson. He still has his moments.

But… the pros outweigh the cons.

I have had minimal interaction with his teachers this year and when we have talked, the feedback is usually positive.

He was also selected as student of the month for his Extended Day class. STUDENT OF THE MONTH!! This might not seem like a huge deal, but when you repeatedly hear things like, “Wow – he is doing really great this year.” when you previously heard the opposite, it almost feels like he won a big award.

In addition to all of this… he seems happier and he’s just more involved over all. He’s less fidgety. He loves playing soccer and enjoys the more creative aspects of his schoolwork. His handwriting is immaculate (it was previously illegible) and he has been really into drawing. He has more confidence.

He’s still the same old kid though. He’s sarcastic and can front some serious attitude. He gets in trouble in class because he likes to make people laugh. He likes to read, play video games, and watch movies. He likes to annoy his sister and make his brother laugh. That part of him, the very part I was worried would change, has remained the same.

All this being said, I know this will continue to be a bumpy ride. We have been working on getting a 504 Plan with his school for MONTHS and we’re still waiting, although we finally have an appointment scheduled at the end of the month. As he grows, his prescription will change and we will have to continuously monitor what works for him. Right now, that’s the very medication I fought so long against.

His Dr. is hopeful that he will grow out of it (research implicates that about 50% of those diagnosed with inattentive ADHD do) and that in time he will learn to manage his executive functions. We can support this by tasking him to be independent (he now folds his own laundry, makes his own breakfast, picks out his clothes, and sometimes turns his homework without prompting), sticking to routines, and emphasizing the importance of responsibility (being on time, taking care of his toys, and helping around the house). I have hope too.

The biggest hope though, has come from a place I didn’t expect.

If you are struggling to make this same decision, my wish is that I can give you hope too. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Don’t feel guilty. Most importantly though (because it’s something I’ve definitely experienced on this journey), DON’T let other people make you feel guilty. THEY don’t have to raise your child.

Like I said, B.K. — I would never medicate my child. However, for the past few months I’ve said, “Medication is the best thing that’s happened to my family.”

You say a lot of stupid stuff before you have kids, huh?

I’m ALIVE (with some book reviews too!)

September 9, 2015 by Michelle 1 Comment

I swear I didn’t fall off the face of this Earth after I last posted. I’m ALIVE!

Things here have been busy, as they usually are this time time of year.

shocked

School started, soccer started, L’s dance classes started, MY dance class started (more on that in a minute), Fantasy Football started, and half marathon training has picked up. There was also my annual girl’s night out and Melissas came to visit.

Dude. When did they get so big????

This MIGHT be my favorite picture of us…ever. Even better than my favorite Chicago picture.

Missing a few of my favorites, but I love these ladies!

As much as I complain about how busy I am, we do much better when we have routine and when we have way too much to do. It forces us to enjoy the quiet time we do have – and even enjoy sitting at the table catching up a few times a week.

As I mentioned above, for the first time in MORE than 20 years, I am taking a dance class. Last year, a few of us joked about taking an adult hip hop class and apparently they didn’t think we were joking, because I’m taking it. AND there’s probably going to be a recital. SAY WHAT? Talk about getting out of my comfort zone! It’s fun even though I’M SURE I look ridiculous.

Untitled

This quote is kinda my mantra right now and in some ways helped push me (along with my friend Jackie) to sign up for this class. Not I think I’m great or that dancing for fun is taking a risk. I do however, believe I am learning something about myself — how to embrace my inner idiot. Amy Poehler Great People In running news, I ran a little more than 70 miles last month – with the hopes to run closer to 100 this month. It helps that my everyone in my running group is training for a marathon. Untitled

I am not remotely sad that I am not running one (OK, maybe a LITTLE nostalgic about Chicago, but if anything it fuels my fire to run it again next year!), but I love enabling people to run — and to run their first marathons. I volunteered to run up to 16 miles with my friends too, because I am nice (ha!). More than 16 miles involves taking ice baths and I’m not interested in doing that right now.

As for racing — I’m still not really focusing on speed because it’s too damn hot. I’ve done a few “fast” runs where I hit a few sub 9-minute miles in 100% humidity, but then I turn around and run extra slow miles even though I feel like I’m working my ass off. It’s humbling, that’s for sure. I’m looking forward to the cooler weather (that can arrive ANY FREAKING TIME now) to see what I’m really capable of. I feel like a PR could happen this year.

Fast miles… and slow miles…

And finally — I keep wanting to do a post on books I’ve read lately (and recommend) but I haven’t had the time. So, you’re getting a list instead:

1. In A Dark, Dark Wood by Ruth Ware

Read this! I read it in about 36 hours. It’s a “fun” read in that it doesn’t require a lot of thinking. It’s Gone Girl-ish without being infuriating. The characters didn’t annoy me like they did in Girl On the Train (which I also read and didn’t really love, but didn’t hate). I feel like I can pick up the plot twist about 80% of the time and I did not expect this ending.

2. China Rich Girlfriend by Kevin Kwan

I loved, loved, loved Kevin Kwan’s Crazy Rich Asians and this is a great follow up. Read both if you haven’t read the first one. It’s like an Asian soap opera (these books would make an excellent TV show!).

3. Dead Wake: The Last Crossing of the Lusitania by Erik Larson

This book was so incredibly disturbing, I decided I could not handle going on a cruise ship after reading it (Note: Don’t read this while on a cruise vacation). Erik Larson doesn’t disappoint though and even though you KNOW the ship sinks, there is an element of surprise. The German submariner perspective is interesting as well.

4. Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari

Aziz actually annoyed the shit out of me at times on Parks and Rec, but I love his standup. However, this book was a huge surprise. It’s really well thought out and he (and his writing partner) did so much research! I am not dating (thank goodness), but I enjoyed reading about how dating has changed (for the better AND the worse) in the past 20 years. The book is sprinkled with Aziz’s humor as well as heartfelt stories about his dating life and his parents (who have been in an arranged marriage for more than 30 years).

5. In the Unlikely Event by Judy Blume

I have deep, deep love and adoration for Judy Blume. One of my favorite books growing up was written by her (Starring Sally J. Freedman As Herself — I honestly don’t know why I latched on to that one so much, must be because the main character moved to Florida in middle school?). I also really loved Summer Sisters (if you haven’t read that one – you should). So this book was a TINY bit of a disappointment for me. HOWEVER, it is a true Judy Blume book and I still enjoyed it. It was just a little…depressing? A little lengthy? A little verbose? Maybe a little all of those. It was also a slow read. Not her worst, but definitely not my favorite. By the way, when I was reading this book, I discovered that THIS GIRL has never read a Judy Blume book in her entire life. I mean, how did she learn about getting her first period???? I’m obviously still not over it.

Soooo on that note… Does anyone have any book recommendations for me?? Did I mention I’ll be in Mexico in less than 3 weeks for vacation? I need some good reads!!

The Kind Of Mother I REALLY Want To Be

May 10, 2015 by Michelle 8 Comments

Pre-motherhood, I had a vision of the kind of mother I wanted to be.

Ok, maybe not this extreme, but I thought it would be all butterflies and sunshine and playing together and being nice. Apparently, my mom made it look EASY.

Spoiler alert: What I envisioned is nothing like the mother I am. Not even close.

Sure, I hit most of my babyhood/toddler/early childhood milestones – I changed a gazillion diapers (we’re still going with that one), I breastfed for a million years (well worth the time and effort, they are some of my favorite memories), I did the whole not sleeping then, which I then followed it up with the whole sleep training thing. I am diligent about vaccinations. My kids get flu shots and go to the Dr. for they annual checkups. I have done hours of research on fevers, colds, coughs, diarrhea, and vomiting. I spent countless hours worried about those same things. I kiss them a million times a day (I would if that were possible) and I tell them how much I love them even more than that.

But, motherhood is so incredibly different. Of course, it’s harder – but it’s more than that. There are so many more dimensions to it than I ever thought possible. I frequently use the phrase “herding cats” — but it’s even more than that. Actually, I think my issue ISN’T the kids part. I mean, I love my kids. I would do anything for them. However, they are kids. They don’t know what the hell they are doing. It’s my JOB as a mom to make them the best people they can be. I think what gets to me the most is that society/most people you know think you are are going to have the most perfect children alive – from birth. I totally accept my kids’ flaws and that it’s my responsibility to teach them right from wrong. But there is so much pressure — so much more than I ever imagined — to be the perfect parent. I would love to the parent who is always there, always watching, always volunteering, best friends with all of the teachers, and constantly involved with my kids. If anyone wants to share me the secrets to doing that WITH a full-time (and demanding job), I’m all ears. Quitting said job is not an option, nor would that be true to who I am as a mother.

That said, I’m fairly certain I’m never going to be THAT mother. No, it just doesn’t suite me. Instead I think I’m a little bit of this…

combined with a little bit of this…

and a little of this…

And a few other inspirational, yet imperfect, moms over the years.

I’m going to be the mother who loves her babies (and they will always be my babies) with reckless abandon. I will kiss and hug my kids in public, even it embarrasses them (ask my 3rd grader). I will tell my daughter she is beautiful, smart, and can do anything her brothers can do, and maybe things they cannot – not because it’s a positive message, but because it’s true. I will tell my sons that they are handsome, smart, and can do anything their sister can do, and maybe things she cannot- not because it’s sexist if I don’t, but because it’s true. Ultimately, my kids can and will do whatever the hell they are capable of doing. That’s not up for me to decide — just to steer, guide, and some day… let go.

I am and I’m going to continue to be the mom who struggles with each stage.. who questions if she is doing things “right.” I am the mom who worries. I am the mom who tries to fix things. I am the mom who sweats the small stuff. I may not always appear to be that mom, but I can put on a good show. I am ALWAYS that mom.

I am also the mom with amazing friends who don’t define themselves by what TYPE of mother they are. Stay-at-home, work-at-home, work-out-of-home… you know what? I don’t give a f**k. Do you understand the struggles of being a mom? OK cool, let’s be friends and bitch about it — and also plan fun events together. We all have different experiences as mothers – why not focus on what we have in common? There’s always something.

So after all of this rambling, do you want to know what type of mom I WANT to be?

One who is needed and loved. One that makes mistakes, but keeps trying. One who knows when to ask for help. One who sets a good example (most of the time). One who teaches her kids that sarcasm, humor, and being silly are just as importance as book smarts and an education. One who values friendship and encourages best friends. One who can crack jokes and play tricks — and expect the same in return. One who pushes her children to try new things, even if they aren’t good at them. One who recognizes and celebrates the strengths in her children – even if they aren’t ones that she can related to or identify with. One who swears – and teaches her kids that words are powerful so they should be used sparingly/appropriately. One who travels with her kids and shares experiences with an open mind. One who doesn’t act like she’s perfect. One who understands her limits. One who dances with her kids, even if it embarrasses them. One who isn’t afraid of what people think of her. One who doesn’t judge other moms for their choices, mistakes, and imperfections. One who makes memories, preferably good, that they will hold in their hearts and someday share with THEIR families. One who spends quality time with her family and makes the most of those moments despite busy schedules, deadlines, travel, and everything in between. One who lets their kid look like a disaster out in public because if meant they had amazing time…

Will I ever REALLY know if I’ve been a “successful” mother? Doubtful. What is success?

I will be content if I can manage even half this list. Hell, I will be content if I managed the first item on the list. Being needed and loved — deep down, who imagines motherhood being more than anyway? It’s the best part.

What kind of mother do YOU want to be? What kind of mother did you think you WOULD be?