Expert Advice Time: Three Kids, Two Parents

Now that I’ve expertly survived an entire year, I thought I would dole out a little advice. I mean, I now know EVERYTHING there is know about having three kids, so you should follow everything I do to a tee.

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Obviously.

If you do, you too will feel sleep deprived, inadequate, and completely paranoid. So without further ado, here are my top 5 tips for surviving a zone defense. It’s not man on man anymore…

1. Continuously remind yourself that you are responsible for three people (other than yourself).

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Sometimes you need a little reality check. Usually that reality check comes every .25 seconds when my kids whine the word, “Mommy” (or “Mom” if you have a too cool 7 year old) even though I am the only adult in a 2 mile radius. But then sometimes you really forget you have three kids. It’s usually brief, but there’s always that moment of “holy shit! they are all mine!” that you have to get over. Never gets old.

2. If things are going smoothly, you’re probably doing something wrong. Or you lost a kid.

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But seriously, there have been so many times over this past year where I thought, “Oooo…. silence. Ahhhh.” and then the 5 seconds later I realized that wasn’t a good thing. Kids do stupid things, because they are kids and it’s your job to discover them. The biggest challenge is NOT LAUGHING and having to pretend you are pissed off. Like the time when the people at the Y asked you if used the term “pissed off” a lot. Yeah, we are so winning at this parenting thing.

3. Accept that sometimes, dessert can be dinner. And so can breakfast.

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Sometimes food shopping doesn’t happen and all you have in your fridge is something completely unhealthy. Which is a lesser evil? Eating crap or not eating at all?

4. Sleep is for the weak. Also, not sleeping makes you bitchy. And that’s really not advice. Just reality. But you want some advice? Coffee.

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Coffee is how I’ve survived — hell, how I’m still surviving. I’m so thankful for coffee (and wine).

5. Remember that even in the most challenging times, your kids are going to become teenagers and it’s going to eclipse anything you ever considered “hard.”

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Yay.

Things I’m Loving

I joked around about punishing myself with my workout on Sunday, but my body obviously thought I was being serious because I am down-and-out. The scratchy throat and clogged ears feeling started Sunday night and now I’m pretty sure I have a full blown sinus infection.

BeFunky Cross Process on iPhone

{Legal, over-the-counter} drugs are my friend.

So, I’m feeling sorry for myself and taking a sick day. Really, it’s for the benefit of my co-workers. I don’t think I’m contagious (no, this is my own doing), but I do sound like man (when I have a voice) and my nose-blowing is worse than an elephant playing the trumpet. It’s true, I’m a loud nose blower.

Since I am being a good girl and not running (or doing any kind of workout) until I feel completely better, I feel ridiculously lame and whiny. To cheer myself up I thought I would share a few things that I am loving lately.

1. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

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We picked this book for book club this month and it was SO GOOD. Read it. Now. The synopsis doesn’t do it justice:

Marriage can be a real killer.

On a warm summer morning in North Carthage, Missouri, it is Nick and Amy Dunne’s fifth wedding anniversary. Presents are being wrapped and reservations are being made when Nick’s clever and beautiful wife disappears from their rented McMansion on the Mississippi River. Husband-of-the-Year Nick isn’t doing himself any favors with cringe-worthy daydreams about the slope and shape of his wife’s head, but passages from Amy’s diary reveal the alpha-girl perfectionist could have put anyone dangerously on edge. Under mounting pressure from the police and the media—as well as Amy’s fiercely doting parents—the town golden boy parades an endless series of lies, deceits, and inappropriate behavior. Nick is oddly evasive, and he’s definitely bitter—but is he really a killer?

As the cops close in, every couple in town is soon wondering how well they know the one that they love. With his twin sister, Margo, at his side, Nick stands by his innocence. Trouble is, if Nick didn’t do it, where is that beautiful wife? And what was in that silvery gift box hidden in the back of her bedroom closet?

Gah! Just plain good. Probably one of the best books I’ve read in a while. I cannot wait to discuss this one at book club. Anyone else read it?

2. This “Birth Plan.”

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My friend Lisa (amazing mom of 3) posted this link on Facebook. I could not laughing. I hope Jeff gets his IV.

3. This review of Coldplay’s Miami show.

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It’s not your typical gushing review. The author of this article wrote it as Gwyneth Paltrow (aka Mrs. Chris Martin) – writing it for GOOP (which, you know I love!). It’s long, but hilarious (and amazingly he fits in a pretty good review of the show as well). I only WISH GP had written this.

4. My new Mia2 Clarsonic.

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When Paula and I were in Miami hanging out with this lady – she RAVED about how her Clarsonic had changed her complexion. Since my skin is less than stellar, I knew I had to have one – and thanks to my AMEX reward points I didn’t even have to shell out any cash for it (by the way – my AMEX Blue Card Preferred is pretty much the best credit card ever). I’ve only been using it for a week, but I can definitely feel a difference. My skin is smoother and I’ve had less breakouts.

5. This lotion.

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I started using the Neutrogena Naturals lotion a few weeks ago and I LOOOOOOVE it. For one, it smells good. Not smelling like an old lady (which, I feel most lotions do)  is very important to me. It also doing make my face feel oily, but it does feel very moist. I also love it’s price ($12!) and how little of it I have to apply. It doesn’t have sunscreen in it – but I think that’s partially what makes my ridiculously sensitive face break out, so it’s a good thing.

6. That Katie strapped on a sack.

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I’m sure we will all be sick of the Katie/Tom drama in a week (or maybe tomorrow), but I’m glad she finally had the balls to leave him, his crazy religion, and ask for full custody of their daughter. I don’t know about you guys – but to me Katie Holmes = Joey Potter and the whole marriage to Tommy was just WRONG. Hope she gets what she wants and more importantly, I hope Suri doesn’t end up an Scientology experiment.

7. Deer my in back yard.

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Two of them actually. I don’t know why – but the deer make me feel less suburban and like I don’t have a house 65 feet away from me on both sides. It’s the little things :)

So, yeah, this list was random, but I’m high on cold medicine – what did you expect (and also, please excuse the typos. This time I have an excuse)?

Now I’m  off to go wallow in my sickness, but I do feel a tiny bit better. I swear I’m going to start babbling on again about running soon….

What are you loving now?

Confession Wednesday: Random Things You Never Thought You Wanted To Know

I’ve been tagged 3 times in the 11 Questions Meme thingy and while it seems silly and somewhat chain mailish – I can’t help myself. So, Melissa, Jessica, and Amanda – this post is for you :)

The Rules:

#1 You must post these rules.
#2 Each person must post 11 things about themselves on their blog.
#3 Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.

11 Things About Me (aka – the hard part)

    • I hated running in high school. I tried out for the tennis team (which is completely laughable) and struggled to run ONE mile around the track when everyone else was out running 4-5 miles.
    • I’m a girly girl. I don’t like dirt. I don’t like to be hot and sweaty (despite my chosen sport). I am ambivalent about sports.
    • I’m really annoyed that I don’t have a redheaded child. I thought that was part of the deal when I got married.

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  • I am not a hugger or a cuddler. If I hug you, it’s typically an awkward situation or I’m drunk.
  • I sleep on the left side of the bed – and I’m pretty sure I always have.
  • The HATE cleaning bathrooms and folding laundry.
  • My least favorite celebrity couple is Angelina and Brad. They annoy the shit out of me.
  • The hubby and I had our first “official” date at McDonald’s. We’re klassi.
  • I’m only a quarter Greek – but the Greek genes are STRONG.
  • Florida State was the only college I applied to… good thing I got in!
  • I’m a crier and it’s not pretty.

Melissa’s Questions

1. What’s one goal you’ve achieved that you never thought you could?Run a marathon! Duh.

2. Is your life now what you thought it would be 10 years ago? Yes and no. I have the career and family that I thought I would have – but it’s still different.

3. What’s your favorite quote?
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” Albert Einstein

4. Do you like to read? What was the last book you read?
Yes! I’m currently re-reading Hunger Games. Last book I finished was The Violets of March by Sarah Jio (it was OK).

5. Do you think you’re photogenic?
Not really. I think I was far more photogenic when I was a kid!

6. When was the last time you made a new friend?
2 weekends ago when I finally met this lady :)

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7. Do you wear nail polish?
On my toes – yes. Gotta cover up those black toenails!

8. What’s one food that other people go crazy over that you could take or leave?
Chocolate (gives me a headache)

9. What was the last thing you tried that was completely new to you?
I joined a running group and met some awesome people. I’ve also put myself out there and met all kinds of news friends in the past year thanks to blogging!

10. Do you like to take risks or play it safe?
A little of both. I try to take calculated risks – but truthfully experiencing failure is just as important to living as success.

11. What is the best experience you’ve had in the past year?
Definitely training for and finishing my first marathon!

Jessica’s Questions

1. Favorite food or restaurant? CARBS. I love bread and any kind of noodle dish.

2. Favorite childhood memory? Going to Disney when I was 8. We lived in MA at the time! We took a limo to the airport :)

3. Biggest pet peeve? It’s a tie between whistling and knuckle cracking

4. Guilty pleasure? Cupcake Red Velvet Wine

5. Why did you start blogging? So I could ramble about running and document my family life

6. If everyone was safe, what possession would you grab from your house if there was a fire? Probably my Mac.

7. Favorite season? Spring and Fall – I pick both of them since they are so short lived!

8. Celebrity crush? Lately I’ve been digging Channing Tatum. I really like his… dimples.

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9. Idea of a perfect day? A nice long run, brunch with my family and friends, a little PS3 Just Dance, and cuddling with my kid

10. Favorite movie? Never Been Kissed

11. What would you do with the money if you won the lottery? Pay off my debt, take my family on a nice vacation, and invest

Amanda’s Questions

1. What is your favorite TV show? Oh there are so many — but we’ll go with HIMYM right now.

2. Skiiing: downhill, cross country or water (or all/none!) None. I’m not coordinated enough/live near snow!

3. Favorite season: winter, spring, summer or fall? Spring and fall (see above!)

4. Peanut butter or almond butter? Neither – I’m sensitive to nuts (TWSS), but I do LOVE Sunbutter!

5. Did you play sports in high school? Nope – unless you consider eating fast food a sport?

6. Who’s your favorite singer/band? Justin Bieber! Ok just kidding…everyone knows it’s Coldplay!

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7. Country music: yay or nay? Yay to some stuff. The first dance song at our wedding was by Garth Brooks!

8. What’s your favorite drink at Starbucks? Venti, Nonfat, 2-pump mocha

9. What is your current fitness goal? 1:55 half marathon

10. What’s your favorite type of exercise? Running – followed closely by spin

11. What’s your dream job? I’m pretty happy with what I’m doing right now — but maybe a personal healthy chef.

Instead of tagging people — just leave me a comment. Tell me something random about yourself! Who’s your favorite celebrity/crush? What side of the bed do you sleep on? 

Stuff I’ve Done

Earlier this week I posted 22 things I have NEVER done. Today, you get 22 things I HAVE done. I’m not sure which list is more exciting :)

I…

1. Married my college sweetheart after 5.5 years of dating.

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2. Delivered two beautiful healthy & babies – with the help of pitocin and epidurals (totally worth it, btw).

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{Can you tell L weighed a pound more than B? Guess which was the easier birth?}

3. Got drunk in a bar in Penn Station (I think it was Penn Station – it could have been Central Station. I was drunk!). The bartender was from Oviedo. Small world.

4. Fallen down a flight of bleachers at a high school basketball game. I am very graceful.

5. Traveled to Paris by myself for 2 weeks (Ok, so I *might* have been visiting my childhood BFF)

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6. Driven around countless (and random) cul-de-sacs in reverse  (thanks Dad).

7. Climbed the waterfalls in Jamaica. It was also the first time I used the word “husband” — as we were on our honeymoon and I screamed it as some lady trying to separate us.

8. Gone snorkeling in Key West (several times), St John, & Jamaica – still want to go in Hawaii & Greece :)

9.  Ran 7 half marathons, 1 15K, 1 10K (+2 miler), 3 5Ks — and almost 1000 miles this year. And made lots of friends doing it.

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10. Renovated a house which consisted of repainting, installing over 750 sqft of flooring, replacing lighting, updating bathroom fixtures,  restaining the porch, and redoing the fireplace mantle.

11. Build our 2nd home from the ground up (well, Pulte built it) after we disovered we never wanted to renovate again.

12. Fallen down a flight of stairs in front of my dorm – in a skirt. Flashing everyone.

13. Read a lengthy book in a single sitting (Harry Potter, anyone?).

14. Celebrated a good friend’s 30th birthday in New Orleans. I was 23 at the time and thought 30 was SO OLD. Ha!

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15. Attended a Bodybuilding Competition (never thought I would do that!)

16. Broke both my hands. Once when I was 10 – trying to play Superman on the swings. Once when I was 15 – trying to (playfully) smack a classmate (I hit a typewriter instead). Seriously – full of grace, that’s me.

17. Met and got autographs from Kid (of Kid & Play), MC Hammer, Steve Urkel, and Grant Hill. I can feel the jealousy.

18. Went horseback riding ONCE on a horse that was far too small for me. Never again. (I only wish I had pictures from this because it was so hysterical!)

19. Took ballet, tap, and jazz for 10 years, took baton for 5 years, and played soccer, softball, and tennis. However it took until I turned 31 to discover running.

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20. Received BOTH diploma’s (BA & MS) from FSU (for some reason this is rare).

21. Took classes with (and sat next to) my bestest friend, Kate, for 4 years of undergrad – without saying a word to her. We did become inseparable until grad school! That’s 4 years of friendship and margaritas we missed out on!!


22. Fell in love with my husband before we even started dating. Freshman year, laying the grass in front of Smith Hall, gazing at the stars. True story. (And I’m pretttty sure he felt the same way)

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Now that you’ve read mine – go check out Vinobaby’s and MomJovi’s! I don’t know about you – but I find it so inspirational to read about people’s lives and accomplishments (and some stumbles).

What are some things you’ve done – that you NEVER thought you would? Are you a clumsy fool, like me?